Open Letter, Four Years

Four years ago, we showed up at the hospital to become adoptive parents to a little girl. Ultimately, this would become one of those defining moments in life - where you see what you're made of under the most difficult of circumstances. This baby girl ended up not being placed in our care, but being kept by her mother. I'd like to share with you some thoughts that I wish I could send directly to her mother.

Dearest Friend,

I want to wish our girl a very Happy Birthday. I still think of her as a part of my heart, so I hope you don't mind me sharing in your love of her. My prayer for her is that she is happy and healthy. That all of your children are. I sincerely hope that you are able to care for your three girls, and any children that may have come along in the four years since we met.

I pray that our girl gets plenty of love from your whole family, and is able to grow to her fullest happy self. My hope would be that she is able to go to school and fulfill whatever dreams she might have for herself. Whether that be a doctor, lawyer, dancer, teacher, athlete, mother... whatever it is, I hope that she is supported and able to reach for the stars. The same goes for you. At the time, four years ago you were back in school trying to finish a program to better your ability to support your family. I sincerely hope that you were able to finish that, and that your circumstances have improved.

Above all else, I hope that you got my letter back then and that you don't hold on to any feelings from that time. I can't possibly imagine what you must have been going through in the hospital or the days before it. My heart can't fathom having to make a choice like that, but know that you were selfless in choosing us to potentially raise your child. Even though you chose to keep her, I know that you were just trying to make the best decision you could under difficult circumstances.

May God have given you peace in your heart over your decision. Honestly, I know you were scared and life comes at you very fast sometimes. I have thought of both of you every year on her birthday, and many other times. It wasn't long after she was born that I did become a mother - or maybe in a lot of ways, I did become a mother that morning... even though I didn't leave the hospital with a baby in my arms. I cried a lot, but I also put my faith and hope for your family & mine in the hands of God.

I'll never forget meeting you and your older girls at McDonald's in the days just before giving birth to our girl. I fell in love with your heart and spirit as I did with the sweet girl that would become my son's birthmother. I would have treasured that chance to be able to mentor you and get to follow along in the journey of your life.

Keep your head high. Trust in the Lord. Know that we love you and wish nothing but the best for all of you.

Forever in my heart,
Kim