Honestly though, James is one of the biggest lights in my life no matter what else is going on - one of those little James smiles is all it takes to put it all back into perspective... at least when things seem unbalanced for a while.
This morning, John brought a song to my attention that is really appropriate for right now... not just for me, but for a very dear friend of mine too. (Jenn - this is for you!) If you guys wouldn't mind keeping not only my family in our prayers, but also my friend Jenn - she's having some scary times in her life on several different levels - and some extra prayers for her peace and comfort certainly couldn't hurt.
Please take a minute to listen to this song... and then read over the lyrics.
Here are the lyrics:
Do you wonder why you have to
Feel the things that hurt you
If there’s a God who loves you where is He now
Maybe there are things you can’t see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending
Someday somehow you’ll see you’ll see
Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
So hold on you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning
My friend you know how this all ends
You know where you’re going
You just don’t know how you’ll get there
So say a prayer
And hold on cause there’s good for those who love God
But life is not a snapshot
It might take a little time but you’ll see the bigger picture
Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you've been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
So hold on you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning
Once you feel the weight of glory
All your pain will fade to memory
Once you feel the weight of glory
All your pain will fade to memory, memory, memory
Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still got a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you've been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still got a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you've been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
Come on you've gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the hurt before the healing
Oh the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning
Before the morning
I just find the words so beautiful... and there is some comfort in them - even if I'm a little mad at God for this situation, he won't let me down... and I'll draw close to him for the strength to get through it. Right now, I'm just on autopilot for a little bit - which probably isn't physically or emotionally serving me very well... but it's all I can do in order to take care of my sons and beloved husband the best way I know how right now... which is probably lacking in what it should be - but I'm trying to be the best I can for them. I'll fall out somewhere at the bottom of my list - as usual, and heal along the way.
It's funny to me that even though I was pretty much right where I am now 6 months ago... I still find it a little shocking how much time goes into taking care of a newborn - when they sleep about 18 hours of the day... it seems like you're almost always up to your eyeballs in breast pumping, baby feeding, diaper changing, or washing something that you need for one of those three things... it's crazy, right? A good crazy... but mind boggling just the same.
Thanks for the prayerful shout-out, love.
ReplyDeleteWhy do our tough times always seem to line up? :/
One thing is for sure...I LOVE to love God. It gives me such hope and comfort. I pray you continue to love Him even more than your little angels. He'll work out the rest and cause such an overflow of love in you, that your husband and your sons won't know what to do with it all!
xoxo
Love the song and the lyrics!
ReplyDeleteYou're going to be fine. It's normal to have crazy hormones and emotions right after you have a baby. Even more so with all you've been through this year. It'll take time for you to feel normal again but you will. :)