Q&A Wednesday

Hi everyone... I hope you're still out there... it's been fairly quiet around these parts lately... I know that most of it is because of my infrequent posts, but I miss all of you!

How do you like the new graphic? I've got a couple of new features that I'm going to be unveiling in the next week - so look for more fun graphics and new interactive posts!

Jillian asked:

What music was playing in your car on your way to work today?


I don't even really remember, because I snoozed most of the way in to work this morning. The only thing I could tell you is that 93Q was on the radio - as it is almost every morning... so some sort of combination of chatter and music. I've been in a country phase lately... for the last month or two... before that it would have been Worship music from John's iPod.

If you could pick one song to be your "life song" what would it be?
 
Oh gosh, I'm not sure that I could even try to answer this one... funny thing about me is that I'm the least musical person you'll ever meet. It just doesn't move me like it does others... I can either pick up on the beat or the words - but never both at the same time... so it's hard for me to connect with music. I unfortunately am much more visual than that - and I need to see things to react to them rather than hear them. It's the same thing with things that are written as well, if you read it to me - I'm not going to pick up on a single word you said, but if I read it... we're golden.
 
KLaw asked:
 
You know how I have my boy crush? Well, boy obsession really... anyway, who is your Ryan Reynolds? How does your Husband feel about it?
 
Oh, John would laugh at this question. I don't know that I even have a boy crush. I guess I like older distinguished guys... I think that Harrison Ford and George Clooney are really cute... but I really wouldn't say that I'd drop anything in my current life for them. It's 100% true that I really only have eyes for my husband... to the point that I'm weird... I just think of all other men out there as being a-sexual... (Yes, I'm a HUGE dork!)

Summer asked:

If you could redo your living room, what would you change?









I'd make it larger for sure, but other than that - I guess I'd just add some paint... not sure that I'd paint the living room though... our living room, kitchen and breakfast room all flow together - and I've always wanted to paint the kitchen and back wall of our breakfast room. I'd choose a sage green color because I love the warm feel of Tuscan colors... our formal dining room has a Tuscan red (or maroon) underneath the chair rail.





If you could travel tomorrow to one place for a week, where would you go?



If I could pack up Jenn and get her to come too - NYC baby! I would absolutely love, love, love to come to New York again and experience all the things that I missed the first time... oh like EVERYTHING! I pretty much only saw the major sights from the backseat of a cab. UGH! I did get to experience two good Broadway plays and Tavern on the Green before it closed... but other than that - not much of anything else.

What helps you to get to sleep at night?

I guess I shouldn't say the sounds of my husband breathing, my Boston Terrier snoring, and my Lab dreaming about chasing squirrels... (I can't think of what else she'd be dreaming about and yelping...) I tend to have trouble falling asleep at night though - so I do a lot of counting and trying to focus on relaxing each muscle... if that doesn't work - I start panicking that I'm not going to get enough sleep! 

You recently dyed your hair red? Do you prefer that or blonde?

Oh girl! Red is the only way to go for me... I tried blonde for a summer in college - and I literally... HONESTLY... looked like a corpse. It was BAD! I don't have the coloring to work the blonde deal... so I go sassy and red instead. When John and I met - I was always a redhead, and we both really like it on me.

Do your doggies do any tricks?

Not too many - but my lab can sit and speak... she will sometimes shake your hand. The Boston Terrier is just too stubborn. She'll look at you like you've lost your mind if you expect her to perform. HAHAHA!

How old were you when you had your first kiss? Like peck on the lips! MEOW.

Gosh, I don't remember... I remember my first romantic kiss... but not innocent. Clearly it wasn't a memorable experience for me.

I love wearing colored tights. Today, I am wearing blue ones. I look like a very tall smurf! I think I love Smurfs. What would your Smurf Name be. Mine would be SILLY SMURF! 

Nerdy Smurf? Shy Smurf? I'm not sure... I'd have to ask you guys to tell me what Smurf I would be.

If you could only eat one fruit for the rest of your life, what would you choose?

Hmmmm... fresh? Strawberries or Bananas... that's about all I eat. Canned? Peaches or Pears...

You said you wanted chips earlier. Did you get any?

NO! Boo! I never found the energy or motivation to dig up change in my purse or go up to the third floor to get them. HA!

You make some lovely looking cupcakes. What recipes are you dying to try?

I'm not sure if I've found the next big thing yet... I keep looking. A week from Saturday I'll be making another of my famous cheesecakes... but I guess I'd love to make another rainbow cake now that I have the new gel dyes that would make the color even more vibrant. I need my friend Summer to come teach me the things she knows about cake decorating so that I can step up my game!

Kora Bruce from Dixie Lust asked:

If you could do anything today- free from any emotional, financial, physical, mental repercussions - what would you do?

Gather up my two best blog buddies - or maybe a few more - with their spouses and head off to a spa for a few days to just hang out, relax and enjoy each other in person. 

In an alternative ending, maybe tell a few people off and start a new career doing something I find fulfilling - if only I knew what that was! 

What physical things remind you of "home"?

I'm not sure about physical things, but home is anywhere that I have the things I love surrounding me... so John, my dogs, and my laptop would pretty much be all I need. The laptop is essential to keep in touch with the ladies in my life that I couldn't possibly live without... so I'd have to keep blogging, emailing and Facebooking on some level.

Katherine Bee asked:

What does your dream house look like?

One of those Dream Home giveaway houses... HA! I'd love to have a huge kitchen - very much like Paula Deen's...a big warm living room with one of those two sided fireplaces... one side of the fireplace in the living room and one side opening into the master bedroom... and a big luxurious master bathroom. If it could be set in the mountains around Gatlinburg, TN - that would be great!

Denee' asked: 

What is your favorite color?

Purple!

Who is your favorite singer?

I'm not even sure at this point... just depends on my mood.

What is your favorite perfume? (I ask because I've decided I don't like mine anymore and I'm looking for ideas) :)

I don't wear it very often, but my favorite is Eternity.

I know that you had weight loss surgery, and I'm going to my first infomation session tomorrow...do you have any regrets from having that surgery? Would you do it again? What has been the biggest adjustment since you had WLS?

I don't have any regrets - I would absolutely without a doubt do it again in a heartbeat. The things I would change would be to use a different surgeon...and possibly a different procedure - it's hard to tell, but John has had more success with the Gastric Sleeve than I had with the Gastric Bypass... so it's a toss up on that part. The biggest adjustment - hmmmm - I don't know anymore... I had my surgery almost 2 1/2 years ago - so pretty much now all things are back to the way it was before in terms of what I can eat and things. I still eat a bit less, but it is more like a normal portion size now. I'd say that the biggest adjustment is that you really need to change the way you think... get to the heart of the reasons that you became overweight to begin with... I can't say that I did that fully, but it will go a LONG way to helping you recognize when you are medicating with food... and what your trigger foods are. Find a good healthy support system - of people that are having the surgery a little before you and at the same time so that you can share experiences... because no one else will understand what you're going through if they haven't been there.

JLI asked: 

If you could sum up the past two weeks into 3 words, what would they be?

I'm sure this shows extreme weakness... but "Why, God? Why?" would be the first three words that come to mind. The lows of the last three weeks outweigh any highs that I felt - and I honestly can't remember what they were like at this point. It's a very difficult process to go through when very little of what happens is under your control. There isn't anything you can do to change it or make it better... nothing you can do to try to do better next time... because you literally did nothing wrong in the first place.

Has there been a particular verse or passage of Scripture that you've leaned heavily upon over the past couple weeks?

I can't say that there is... I remember reading Psalm 20 the day after it happened and feeling that it spoke to the situation pretty well...

At the stage of the healing process where you find yourself today, what advice would give another woman who is about to embark on the journey of adopting a child based on your experience so far?

That you absolutely without question need a STRONG support system that you can lean on throughout the process. You will need people who can pick you up and carry you through the days when you just don't think you can go any further. It's very much like the process of infertility treatments - or like mine were... a lot of hurry up and wait. There was an extreme flurry of getting all the aspects of our home study complete during January and the beginning of February... and now there is just nothing to do but wait. Which the social worker told us could be hard... she also told us about the percentages on the number of failed placements - and it just doesn't quite register until you've been there. 

I honestly believed that having gone through the infertility treatments in the way that we did - meaning that it was a complete waste of time really - I felt like when we followed God's plan so clearly by choosing the adoption agency we did under his clear guidance... that his hands were all over it when we got chosen by this particular birth mother... the timing and circumstances seemed so perfect... so it just never occurred to me that we might have a failed placement. 

The other thing I was completely unprepared for would be the outside influences on the birth mother. She seemed so completely resolved in her decision... so when she changed her mind because of the birth father - it was hard for me to understand. Part of me in my mind found it very hard to relate to the 24 year old making decisions based on keeping her relationship - over the intelligent plan she had made for the long-term health of her family overall just a few short hours before the birth. At 31, it can be hard to remember what that is like... and to know that she's making the decision based on emotion instead of being rational.

Finally, I'd say that you should be prepared for the unexpected. In the case of our recent failed placement (our only attempted placement so far) I never expected to fall in love with the birth mother like I did. What I mean by that is that I was completely ready to accept her into my extended family and to love her as a part of that family forever. We had a lot of similarities, and I knew that we would be able to build a great friendship... and I hoped that I would have been able to mentor her a bit as well. 

That's it for this week - thanks to Summer for helping gather up some questions for me to answer!! Go ahead and start sending in questions for next week (either in the comments section or via email)... and I'll be back next Wednesday to answer anything you come up with!