You ever have those days where you wonder if it's worth it? Or well, really what the point is...
Today, qualifies as that for me.
After yesterday's drama with the doctor's office - at least that is moving again... a minor detour from the main route... but enough to physically and emotionally exhaust me beyond what I was really capable of yesterday. Ask John, I literally was asleep on the couch by 8:30... and if there hadn't been ice cream to be eaten - it would have been earlier than that.
You'd think that the morning would bring bluer skies and happier moods... but apparently today at my office is the day that everyone chooses to crack down on me at once. I've got so many people needing something from me right now - I don't even know what end is up.
Accounting needs me, E needs me, C needs me... so on and so forth.
The kicker though is that you can rock along in this place for a while and everything seems fine - but then one day they turn on you... and suddenly for that one day - you are incompetent... or at least that is what they tell you.
Don't you love it when someone literally asks you: "why does it take so long to get this done?" and you're just left looking at them like - seriously?! - do you have any idea what comes at me on a daily basis?
I don't know if we have a perception problem or what... but it's amazing how I'm supposed to magically appear to have reached a goal by reading someone else's mind. I mean sure - I can get you there... but tell me what that looks like. If you want me to create you a spreadsheet that lists all the different types of fruit by color (exaggeration for effect) - no problem... but TELL ME THAT! Don't just pose some random question and expect me to figure out that you want the spreadsheet. Clearly, that isn't working.
Whew! Oh, and it's great that you think I have all these resources to get these projects done... while said resources have zero responsibility or drive to help me... I'm supposed to motivate people who could care less if I get hit by a bus. In fact, if I'd leave them alone - I think a couple of them would drive that very bus - just to shut me up. I mean someone that they actually report to is going to have to make this a priority for them - because clearly hearing it from their coworker isn't getting there.
Needless to say, I'm extremely tired - stressed out - emotionally drained - irritated - did I mention stressed out?... oh and apparently, incompetent. You see, I'm the kind of person that if someone doesn't want to help me... fine... no problem... I'll just work around it and get it done myself. Somehow though, at this place... I get in trouble for that - because at my level (just a hair above pee-on) I am not paid to actually do the data entry.
Oh okay... great - well if the "resources" I have been given aren't going to get it done - and it's my responsibility to get the project done... is there any one else out there that would just start doing data entry as fast as their fingers would let them? Geez!
Alright - I'm ending this rant... but can I just tell you that if I could stay in my cocoon in Cypress with my husband all the time... I know that I'd be much happier, less stressed, and my blog would be much more entertaining? Ok, the last one might be a stretch - if I were blissfully happy - there probably wouldn't be much blog fodder... but it sounds GREAT.
Have I ever told you guys my theory about the world? It's a crack-pot theory... but seriously - if I never go to the mailbox, answer the phone, or leave the house... nothing bad will ever happen. No one will be knocking my door down for money - or calling me to harass me for a donation... I could just live happily in my little bubble forever.
I know that's a nice pipe-dream... but today - I'm wishing that it could come to fruition.
Sooo...how's your day?
haha--my day's not nearly as stressed out as your is, that's for sure! :)
ReplyDeleteI think it's that some people don't realize you have a WHOLE LIFE outside of work--a life with serious ups and downs, and they're not attuned to that at all! NOT a great day to give you a hard time!
That bubble life though, I don't know... I'd be bored stiff if I couldn't engage with the work world, even though it can be terrible at times!
Kim,
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me, but I've been popping by your blog for a couple of months now, I guess. I'm not sure how... maybe we have a friend in common, named Ellen? Seriously, I can't remember where I found your link, but that's not really important anyway, I suppose.
Just wanted to say, that the reason I keep checking your blog is because there's something that I find akin to the two of us. I too, am praying that God will bless us with a child. Not been labeled "infertile" yet..and I stress yet...but I think that short of a miracle, that's the path we're headed.
And I suppose the reason why I'm commenting on this day (finally) is because your post, whether intentioned or not, reminded me very vividly of some feelings I shared with my job, which I just voluntarily vacated (aka QUIT) a month ago. NOT saying that it sounds as though you've got a bad job, or that you should quit your job! But the feelings you so appropriately expressed today are feelings I've had every day for two years...until a month ago. And it's hard to have "LIFE" get in the way of "WORK", or at least in the way of how "WORK" seems to discredit that "LIFE" is what's most important, and not the other way around!!
Anyway, I doubt this comment helps much in the grand scheme of things, but I just wanted to say hello, introduce myself as a lurker, and say that I get you! Really, I do!! Thanks for that!
Oh, i remember those horrible days in the corporate world where no one appreciated what i did or understood the difficulty of doing it. Yuck.
ReplyDeleteAll you can do is take a deep breath. Or do EFT.
Have you heard about EFT yet? It is wonderful. Email me if you think you might want to know more.
Here's hugs to get you thru. :)
Oh Kim, I am so sorry to read about your terrible day. People at work can be so irritating at times. You're not incompetent, I can't believe people were saying that. Ridiculous! Hang in there, your bubble idea doesn't sound half bad.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...a bit better than yours thankfully! Though it is extremely difficult and not even close to feasible, we are supposed to leave work at the door of the building and some stuff at our front door. So hard to not overlap the two!
ReplyDeleteSorry about your day. :( Hope things get better!
ReplyDeleteI so sorry that your day was so bad:( And can't believe people called you incompetent.. I mean what is wrong with these people!!!
ReplyDeletethis is such a LIE!!!
I hope you have a great week:)
Praying for you!!
Hugs,
Hannah
Kim, I am sorry you had such a rotten day. Doncha just love it when people randomly dump on you?
ReplyDeleteI may be way off base here, but if you are usually stressed like this, I don't know but it might be making the TTC harder. I remember in jr high a teacher who quit because she was trying and the stress of teaching was preventing. Then again, worrying about how to pay for stuff if you do quit may just balance it out. I dunno.